Many parents have the fear that they will irreparably emotionally damage their children. More often than not this fear feels more at home with the father, though not too far from some mothers, eh? But since Father’s Day is neigh upon us, I thought we’d encourage the dads among us. Yes, encourage….
I have counseled, known and heard of many a ‘dead-beat’ dad, but underneath this ‘dead-beat’ dad syndrome (to capture a phrase) is a deeply seated fear that paralyzes the dad. He is so fearful that he’s so screwed up there’s no hope of repair. Well, he has ‘screwed up’; clearly a self-fulling prophecy of sorts, but not beyond repair….
Yesterday, I was leading games for our VBS, and we were talking about how much Jesus cares for us from Matthew 6:33. While I was speaking to the small tikes of the K-1st grade group, as if on cue, a sparrow started singing in a nearby tree. I told the little ones to get really quiet and “tell me what you hear?” “I hear a bird,” chirped one of the older ones. Yes, and the Lord takes care of the sparrows. They don’t work or make food… But our Heavenly Father takes care of them. “Oh, come here,” and we found a blooming dandelion. (Bare with me, now.) The Lord even takes care of dandelions—which are weeds. “Are you more valuable than a weed.” One little girl sighed deeply, “No…,” as her voice trailed off. “Oh, honey, you are more valuable than a sparrow and much, much more valuable than a weed. And the Lord will take care of you even more and provide everything you need….”
Lifestyle worshiper, as I was talking, I was actually listening to myself. Strange, I know, but I was realizing that even when I do mess up, the Lord will take care of my “weeds,” and still make them something beautiful and useful…. (Not sure how useful a dandelion is, but in the eyes of a child they are very beautiful.)
So, dads, let the Love the Lord Jesus Christ has for you dispel any fears you may have of screwing up as a dad. Confess those times you have and forgive yourself as He has forgiven you, and then yield to His presence to be the best dad He has designed you to be. I know my fears are beginning to evaporate. I pray yours are, too.
Main Text: — Matthew 6:33 — But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. [NIV84]
Additional Scriptures to Renew Your Thoughts
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. — Colossians 3:13 (NIV84)
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. —Ecclesiastics 3:11 (NIV84)
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like Him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because He first loved us. — 1 John 4:16-19 (NIV84)
Heavenly Father, as I realize more and more how much You really do Love me, extinguish this fear of failing as a father. Replace it with the same Love You have more me as demonstrated by Your Son, my Lord, Jesus Christ. In His Name, Amen.